Known Johnson

April 13, 2005

Fashion victim

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tom @ 9:55 pm

Alissa has grown bigger with an astonishing speed the past few weeks. It seemed like one day we were wondering when the Unknown Johnson would show, and suddenly the next day there she was, an obvious belly where previously there had been none.

This past week Alissa finally had to break down and buy some actual maternity clothing, having exhausted her supply of loose pants. This was truly one of the oddest clothing experiences I’ve ever had. I had no idea that maternity pants had these panels of stretchy material on them. They’re like pants with a big open pouch in the front made out of thin spandex-type stuff. It’s an ingenious idea, really, and much more comfortable looking than the Pants With Giant Elastic Waistbands. Seriously, we’re talking like three to four inches of thick elastic waistband in place of a normal, one-inch waistband. I get why they work, but I can’t see how they could possibly beat the Pouchy Pants in terms of comfort.

The annoying thing we found with maternity clothes finally answers the question I’ve had about pregnant women: why do they always wear basically the same giant shirt and same pants? It’s simple: most non-strictly maternity stores only have about 4 racks of clothing dedicated to our mothers-to-be, and most of it falls into two categories: plain ol’ t-shirts and simple pants, or the kinds of weird, flowery/checkered used-to-be-tablecloth material that schoolteachers seem to be fond of. However, it seems that things are looking better for pregnant women as some of the better designers are aiming at least a small part of their lines at making some less-informal wear for the bearers of our precious cargo. Alissa was able to find a few work-suitable sets of pants and can get away with her old shirts for a while, but it was only after a great deal of looking . . . and, indeed, more than a little entertainment at seeing what maternity pants that distincly do not fit well look like.

We’re half-way to the end of August right now, but I suspect our experiences with tracking down decent maternity clothing has only just begun . . .



  1. Old Navy has a nice line of maternity clothes. Also – let her know that a lot of pregger women in the early stages of showing a belly prefer low-rise, stretch jeans as opposed to maternity pants. Maternity pants at that stage can be too baggy, and loose and might be awkward for her.

    Comment by Bekah — April 14, 2005 @ 10:44 am | Reply

  2. We found out about the bagginess today when Alissa wore a brand new pair of pants . . . safety pins were involved. It wasn’t pretty, but it worked!

    Comment by Tom — April 14, 2005 @ 8:38 pm | Reply

  3. you’ve probably noticed that the security code isn’t required for some reason. i accidently forgot it in my previous comment and then noticed f*****g blog spam on this one!

    Comment by marc — April 23, 2005 @ 2:13 am | Reply

  4. Damn, you’re right Marc. I’m about to give up on comments, I’m so sick of dealing with comment-spam. I don’t know what’s wrong here – the security code did work, but now it’s definitely. Sometimes blogs are so fun.

    Comment by Tom — April 23, 2005 @ 8:01 am | Reply

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