Known Johnson

June 16, 2005

Feets don’t fail me now*

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tom @ 10:54 pm

I told Alissa yesterday morning that my appointment with the podiatrist was the most excited I’d ever felt for a doctor’s visit for what is really a pretty big problem. And I was – after decades of dealing with foot pain, the idea that someone might have a solution was pretty exciting.

And before we get into it, yeah, I realize this is one of those ordeals people who read blogs aren’t really interested in reading about – unless it’s some big event, which I’m pretty sure “foot pain” isn’t – most people aren’t all that interested in reading about it. The nice thing is that this is my site and if I feel like writing about it, I will. You are welcome to not read about it. But I’ll hate you forever.)

Being in a doctor’s office with your feet bare, but in the rest of your clothing, is kind of strange. For some reason, I felt more exposed sockless than I would in one of those open-backed gowns. How many people really get to see your feet on any average day? I can count that on one hand, with one finger, and even then I’m not really sure that Alissa’s looked specifically at my feet. However, there I was, up on the chair, feet hanging free in the breeze.

The doctor came in, a Mediteranean sort, I’d say, with a fairly thick accent that I’d place as being Greek or Italian, and he bounded in upon his extremely odd looking Z-Coil shoes. Seriously – click over and take a look, then come back. Weird, huh? He poked and prodded at my feet, putting his fingers on specific spots and asking if this or that hurt, and he seemed to know exactly what he was looking for – when he asked “does this hurt?” he had managed to press right on the exact spot that did. He spent a good deal of time simply looking at my feet, admiring them, I’d like to think, perhaps in awe that such uselessly flat feet had supported this otherwise perfect, stunning specimen of human male for so long without failure. Or maybe he was just concentrating on whatever it was podiatrists concentrate on. Regardless, he was thorough, and when he had me hop down to walk for him, it was his determinate “uh-huh” upon simply stepping to the ground that made me realize that there was, and always has been, something seriously wrong with my feet.

I strode the two or three steps across the tiny office and heard him mumbling a few things to himself, chiefly “extreme pronation,” and when I stopped, he basically summed up what I knew – my feet are completely and totally flat and thus I have no shock-absorption in my feet. Due to my lack of arch, my feet roll inward, putting all of my weight on that stretched-flat arch instead of on the outer edges of my feet like most of you normal people’s feet do. And, because of this, and because they’ve gone untreated and abused so long, I essentially have constantly inflamed tendons in my feet – they never get better because I’m always abusing them simply by walking, standing, etc. – by being a normal person, or an approximation thereof. What’s more, I also have something called “equinus,” which sounds horse-related but isn’t, and is a shortening or tightening of the Achilles tendon, which constrains my foot’s motion quite a bit. Where my flat feet can be compensated for with orthotic shoe inserts, equinus has one solution: surgery. However, that’s not on the table right now because the first issue is simply to get my feet to stop being sore, for which I received a pair of standard orthotics that you can buy anywhere and a prescription for basically a two-week overdose of ibuprofen to alleviate the inflammation. This is just a test – two weeks with these and then I go back so he can reassess my progress. Who knows what exciting foot fortunes the future holds for me?

*Again, sorry for the cliche’d foot titles.


1 Comment »

  1. Tom-
    I’m waiting on pins and needles to hear how your foot situation turns out. I’m not sure which is more exciting: waiting for the baby news or waiting for the foot news.

    Ok, maybe it’s the baby, but I didn’t want your feet to feel left out.


    Comment by Lisa — June 17, 2005 @ 4:07 pm | Reply

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