Known Johnson

August 16, 2005

Walk it off

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tom @ 10:58 pm

Being a father-to-be very soon, and not being particularly good at dealing with completely unplannable things like going into labor, I’m pretty much doing the old pacing-the-floor thing. Get me in the delivery room and I guarantee I’ll work like a well-oiled machine. I’ve been going over it all in my head for months, I have some idea what to expect. But this . . . this unknown amount of time that could be just mere hours or could be as long as a little over two weeks . . . I’m really not sure what to do with myself. I find myself very anxious and jumpy, not to mention adle-minded and very easily distrac- oooh, what’s that shiny thing? What’s that? Where was I . . . ah, yes, “easily distracted.”

(I really did lose my train of thought there.)

After dinner, Alissa mentioned that she needed to get her rings cleaned (as part of the guarantee on her wedding and engagement rings) and I jumped at the opportunity: something to do! And not only that, but walking can be good for helping to speed up the onset of labor. No idea why, I just know the doctors alway suggest it. To indicate how badly I need distraction right now, let me reiterate the key issue here: I happily grabbed a chance to go to the mall. I hate the mall. I try to avoid the mall even for things that it’s hard to avoid the mall for, like Christmas shopping. But tonight? “Let’s go!”

We also managed to figure out some things we actually need at Target, so it made our trip out more meaningful. And, being back-to-school week, I knew this was probably a good time to try and find a new method for carrying things to work . . . because my old method makes me look like a bum. Not kidding: I take everything I need for the day that is not lunch in a plastic bag from the grocery store. I’m not really concerned with looking like a bum more than I am losing everything in a catastrophic structural failure of the bag (otherwise known as “a rip.”) I carry my Ipod, phone and whatever other small items I don’t want in my pockets in these grocery bags. My $400 Ipod upon which my sanity depends is being carried around in an unmeasurably thin bag. So, I figured with back-to-school sales, I might be able to score a decent backpack that might suit my needs. Well, as it turns out, backpacks have just plain gotten weird – they’re all one-strapped now, which makes sense since I never once actually wore a backpack, opting instead to do the carry-it-on-one-shoulder deal. Easy on, easy off. Well, now they don’t even come with that second strap. Unfortunately, they’re also smaller in width to look more streamlined, I guess. So unless they had nothing else, that wasn’t going to work.

And then I saw it – something along the lines of a soft-sided briefcase with a shoulder strap and a big flap to cover everything inside. It was perfect – it was just big enough for all my stuff, shaped just right to carry a book or two, some CDs, my Ipod, etc. In effect it was a purse. And, after some deliberation (“Do I look feminine carrying this?!”) I bought it. I’m living the the Friends episode where Joey starts carrying a “man bag.” It just doesn’t matter anymore – men are expected to carry a ridiculous amount of crap in their pockets and our pockets just aren’t big enough! My daily inventory: Ipod, cellphone, two sets of keys, Chapstick, a USB Flash drive, change, etc. – there’s only so much that can fit in pants pockets. So, man bag it is.

And after that we were both done – I’d gotten the distraction I needed, Alissa hopefully got some help from gravity getting baby Unknown moving down and out. I have a feeling, however, that we’ll be doing this quite a bit for the next number of days – the peace of mind afforded by this night out will only last so long.

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