Known Johnson

March 10, 2006

News of my own weird

Filed under: General — Tom @ 7:00 am

I was just thinking how our hands are evolutionary improvements on a basic design centered around feet (this is obvious from looking at primates, whose hands look like feet and whose feet can function as simple hands.) Since we don’t typically use our feet for much other than walking, the toes are smaller than the fingers and function mainly to help us keep our balance. So why the hell are our big toes so freakishly large compared to our thumbs?

Anyway, here’s some juicy tidbits about me that you all can share around the water cooler:

I woke up a couple of weeks ago so groggy that I fell asleep momentarily in the bathroom and wound up peeing on the cat.

I woke up this morning from an extremely strange dream, the only remnant of which I could remember was that I’d had to go to the hospital repeatedly, where whatever they did had turned one of my testicles black – like graphite black. I keep thinking of when Adam Sandler played a character whose foot had been blackened, as seen in Mr. Deeds. (Never saw it – wasn’t it due to frostbite? This is why I can’t watch most of his movies.)

Apparently using Google’s language translator is so popular that it was blocked at work. Finally this scourge of the internet has been stopped!

The bottom of the fruit drawer in our refrigerator is a covered in a layer of discarded twist-ties. So lazy are we that, when opening a bag of hand-picked fruit from the store, we just toss the twist-tie into the bottom of the drawer. Hey, it’s not dirty, it’s just messy.

Once, at lunch one day back in my “wild and crazy” high school days, I ate half of a styrofoam cup for no particular reason. I really wish I had a great story to go along with that, but this is pretty much it.


1 Comment »

  1. peeing on the cat and a fridge with a bottom covered in twist-ties – two of the funnier things i’ve read in the last few months 🙂 nice!

    oh – and sorry for missing your b’day. happy belated dude.

    Comment by marc — March 10, 2006 @ 11:49 pm | Reply

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