Known Johnson

June 12, 2006

Big Brother may not be listening, but someone is

Filed under: General — Tom @ 6:31 pm

One of those sites that somehow ended up in my Bookmarks folder that I thought was hilarious and then, somehow, immediately forgot about is Overheard in New York. The title pretty much says it all – things overheard in New York.

See, here in Phoenix we don’t spend much time on the streets. We spend our time in cars. It’s hot. You’re crazy if you walk around during the day. But elsewhere, it’s not like you just opened a heated oven and put your head in there, and so you get to overhear all kinds of weird stuff. I supposed if you hung out at the mall a lot you might hear some interesting things, but, really, that’s just not good for your health in any way at all.

Some of my favorites found today:

Velour Trip

Guy on drugs: What are you on?
Girl on drugs: Um, a couch?
Guy on drugs: No, what are you on?
Girl on drugs: A couch!
Guy on drugs: What drugs did you take?
Girl on drugs: Acid?

–Roxy, W 18th

via Overheard in New York, Jun 6, 2006

These Kids And Their Crazy Slang

Little punk rock guy to tall hipster guy, sarcastically: Nice beard.
Tall hipster guy: Yeah, you want me to smash your face!
Little punk rock guy: Shit nigga, now I wish I had a beard to absorb that shit.

–Union Pool Bar, Williamsburg

via Overheard in New York, Jun 5, 2006

Bad Copies of Coach, Prada, Supernanny

Guy selling belts: Getcha belts here! Five dollahs! Belts! Only FIVE DOLLAHS!
Touristy man passes by with 10-year-old son.
Guy selling belts: Getcha belts to hitcha kids with! Talking to them don’t work!

–W 65th St

via Overheard in New York, Jun 5, 2006

Similar, But More Expensive

Hipster chick #1: I wish they had a whole pizza made of crust. I would so buy it.
Hipster chick #2: Me, too!
Queer: You mean bread?

–Pino’s La Forchetta, Park Slope

via Overheard in New York, Jun 4, 2006

That Funeral Gets Two Thumbs Way Down

Tiny, incredibly old woman: And all that stuff about Sadie having a good heart?
Tiny, incredibly old man: Yeah.
Tiny, incredibly old woman: What a cold bitch.

–Squires Diner, Cliff St.

via Overheard in New York, May 18, 2006

It’s hours of fun.

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