Known Johnson

June 22, 2006

Haiku by two

Filed under: General — Tom @ 12:09 pm

Haiku giant cat head (for a birthday card)

One giant cat head
Made of many cat pictures
Means “happy birthday.”

Haiku cream cheese warning

No cream cheese warning
I put it on my bagel
I wanted butter.

True story. I wanted a bagel this morning and I hate cream cheese. I toasted my bagel and saw a large vat of slightly yellowy stuff that I assumed was a lightly yellow butter. So if you find yourself asking, “Hey, self, is it a massive vat of light-colored butter or just yellowy cream cheese?” It’s cream cheese. It’s just a general rule I’m going to apply from now on.

And no, I didn’t eat the cream-cheesed bagel. I actually bought two friggin’ bagels – I threw the one away. Yes, I am a good person. I probably could have left the befouled one on the counter and pretended I knew nothing about it, but I’m just not that way. Sometimes we have to pay for the lessons we learn in life, even dumb ones about butter and cream cheese.



  1. It is completely beyond my comprehension that somebody could hate cream cheese.

    Comment by Chris — June 25, 2006 @ 10:39 am | Reply

  2. This is just part of my feminine intrigue, Chris.

    Comment by Tom — June 25, 2006 @ 11:21 am | Reply

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