Known Johnson

July 23, 2006

5 7/8 Sense

Filed under: TV — Tom @ 12:10 am

Alright, I admit it, watching anything on the ABC Family channel is lame, but I got stopped while channel-surfing tonight because The Sixth Sense was on and neither Alissa nor I had seen it since it was in theaters. This is what happens when baby goes to bed – the parents veg on the couch in a most potatoey way.

As we were watching, it occured to me that I really don’t remember how the movie ended. And if you haven’t seen the film and don’t want to know the ending, stop reading now – you are hereby forewarned, because I’m giving it all away in about three words now. When he finds out in the end he’s dead, I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what happens next. I know he goes home, sees his wife, and figures it out there, but then . . . what?

Well, thanks to ABC Family channel, I still don’t know! Why? Because those assholes cut the damned movie off after he figures it all out, tells his wife how much he loves her and how in the morning everything will be different, ending the movie abruptly on a shot of the TV on which she had been watching some of their wedding-night video footage. A split second later a miniature version of the credits roll in hyper speed as the rest of the screen is taken up by ABC Family channel-related spam. So if anyone cares to fill me in on the end, please do so in the comments – I know he goes back to see the kid, and there’s a light on the stairs and someone comes to take him up to the light, but I don’t know who and how it happens exactly. I need closure, people. I guess closure isn’t a specialty at ABC Family.

We both thought it was funny that future OC anorexia goddess Mischa Barton played the little girl whose mother eventually killed her by poisoning her food. As I told Alissa, it appears that Mischa may have learned her fear of food in this movie. Now that’s method acting.

We also thought it was humorous that such an intense film was on ABC Family. What followed it? Why that old family favorite, Lethal Weapon! “C’mon, hon, get the kids! It’s time for that movie about a pair cops, one of which pretty much has a suicidal death wish, who fight drug smugglers!”


1 Comment »

  1. Um, he goes back to the kid and he, um, is like, “dude!” and the kid is like, “yeah,” and he goes, “NO WAY” and the kid goes, “WAY!”

    or something.

    That was Mischa Barton?

    Comment by Bekah — July 23, 2006 @ 7:36 pm | Reply

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