Known Johnson

September 27, 2006

My youthful beauty

Filed under: General — Tom @ 10:29 am

Some of you may tell me I’m throwing away a dollar, but when the Powerball hits hundreds of millions of dollars, I’m going to go ahead and take that $1 chance. And so I did on Saturday when it was at something like $200 some odd million, but it wasn’t the excitement of possible future riches that amazed me. No, it was the exchange we had in getting the ticket:

Me: “Can I get a Powerball?”
Her: “I’m going to need to see ID, hon.”
Me . . . pausing in disbelief . . . “Um, okay.”

I extracted my wallet, unfolded it to the point where my ID was visible, and she carefully examined it, then also carefully examined me. The picture is a bit younger and maybe I have more hair (including a goatee,) but it is clearly me – and I clearly look well over 18, the legal gambling age in Arizona, in picture and in person. I guess I had to get carded sometime – that’s right, at age 33, since I don’t drink or smoke, I’ve never had a reason to get carded except going into concert venues that require drinking-age adults. I guess there’s something special about that – I still have a youthful beauty, I suppose.

But that’s not that point . . . I’m a little upset at this treatment because I know that this delay in getting my ticket was the thing that caused us to lose the winning numbers. They were there, poised to be printed on our ticket, but that one extra moment it took for me to fish out my wallet and for her to verify my age caused them to shuffle off to a machine in Iowa where some probably senile 89 year old man has misplaced his ticket and isn’t even aware anymore that he bought one. At least I know that old bastard isn’t going to be living it up while I work my ass off for the rest of my life – all due to my youthful beauty.


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