Known Johnson

June 14, 2007

Great grill in the sky

Filed under: General — Tom @ 11:39 pm

Tonight we dined from the George Foreman grill, not having pulled out “the George” for a long time to make burgers because, having a house with a porch and things like that means we can have a real grill. You know, a grill that belches fire and poses more than a scalding hazard. Until recently, we had one of those. But now we don’t.

You see, the old gas grill has given up the ghost, kicked the bucket, is pushing up daisies, or so it seems. I tried to revive it – I got the parts I thought would fix it but it turns out that the only parts the stores carry are for grills I don’t own. It’s salvageable, and that’s the most frustrating part. I know that if I wait long enough, go to enough stores, contact enough places, I’ll find those parts. But I want to eat the way primal man ate. And “the George” is just too polite to provide any charring.

But tonight I slapped on a few patties of the first ground beef “the George” has seen in about 7 years – since we moved into our house, when my parents gave us that fine gas grill that finally went to the great barbecue in the sky. And, yeah, I made sure it was clean first. The results were . . . edible. But not grilled. And I know grilling aficionados abhor gas grills, but even they have to admit it’s a step up from the glorified hot plate that is “the George”. But he served us well – when we lived in the apartment, that was our grill, and we loved it. But once you’ve cooked with fire, it’s pretty hard to step back down to hot metal plates.

For now, the hull of our former grill sits on the patio, forlorn. I feel bad, like it’s waiting for me to come out and pay attention to it. But we all know that’s not going to happen. It’ll sit there until a new one comes along sometime soon, and then it’ll be wheeled to the side of the house where it will sit, forgotten, for some unknown amount of time. And then one day, the grill will be wheeled to the curb, probably excited because it thinks it’s going somewhere fun because it’s finally getting some attention again, like all grills would think in its position, until the big truck comes and the little tractor grabs it with with its nashing claw-arms, tossing it thoughtlessly into the truck’s giant bin. We’ll know the truth, but we’ll tell everyone else that we took it out to a nice farm where it could be repaired and grill up freshly butchered and ground meat – the true dream of all grills – and, hey, did you see our new grill? It burns 48,000 BTUs . . .

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