Our little bee went to the mall to trick-or-treat tonight. We decided that Amanda’s best bang-for-the-proverbial-buck would be there rather than on our most likely nearly deserted streets and we were right – it was packed! Can you blame everyone? Nearly all the stores participated, making it a very easy score for a lot of candy, not to mention a great way to make sure your kids are doing something safe.
We did, however, have to drag Amanda away from the Hobby Bench store window where she became transfixed by the train that runs around and around there:
What is it about kids and trains?
Anyway, the odd trend was that the kid’s stores gave out the worst “treats.” After we got home, I divided her stash up into three distinct levels of quality. Check it out:
“Pure shit” level:
Oh, come on – could you try any less? A magnet from kid’s store Pumpkin Patch and a friggin’ coupon book from Dairy Queen. Kids love coupons! This level could also be known as “it’s Halloween? Oh, dig up some crap from the back and hand it out.”
“Not really trying” level:
This is very close to the lowest level, but slightly better only because they might at least interest kids. A couple of Disney cards (from the trading-card store,) a couple of stickers, and two balloons (of FIVE – the other three have already been blown up.) This level could also be known as “the kids aren’t going to shop here anyway so why bother . . . but maybe the parents will remember us, so we’ll put in a little effort.”
“Actual Halloween” level:
Now that’s what I’m talking about – candy! This is what everyone, not just kids, wants. Bow Wow Wow said it – “I Want Candy!” – and the majority of the mall listened. There is no other name for this level – this is the heart of Halloween: sugar, and lots of it.
I can’t acquit myself for how blurry this picture came out (kids and cameras seem to be magnetically attracted – point one at the other and they instantly end up on a collision course,) but Amanda is so cute that I’m going to include it anyway: