Okay, fine, so maybe we did get the letter from them six months ago – the one asking that we repaint our house. Everyone in our neighborhood did. You know, these seven to eight year old homes that somehow are just falling apart and so badly needs a paint jobs. Because, of course, it’s the condition of the paint that is at fault for the ills in the housing market right now. But that’s what they say – that repainting makes our neighborhood more marketable. Somehow.
I don’t remember anyone painting their houses this often when I was growing up. It seems ridiculous to me. Sure, there are a few spots that could use touching up, like any home, but repaint the whole house?! Of all the things that need to be updated, paint is the last of them that I’d consider important. Gravel would probably rank much higher. The gravel we were all forced by the HOA to buy, this pale, crappy white/yellow junk, crumbles quickly, and our yard is about at the point where we have no choice but to call in a dumptruck full of the stuff for a refresh. Well, that plan will probably go on the back burner now that we have to needlessly repaint. I was actually looking forward to new gravel – the yard will look so much better for it, the house will look so much more fresh and new, but no, paint it is.
You see, we got the threat today. That letter we got six months ago? Put away and, well, maybe not forgotten, but put in the back of our minds. We were both just sure that the six month period they gave us to repaint our houses ended sometime in November – after all, they didn’t put a hard date in the letter, but it is dated 4/18/07. So mid-October is apparently when it was supposed to have been completed by. Nevermind that there’s absolutely no record that we actually received this request from them – I know if we had an endless supply of money could fight them in court and win on this one because they can’t demand something from someone without any proof that they ever knew about it in the first place. I want to pretend that we didn’t get the letter and force their hand, but I know how vicious they can be. You really don’t want to mess with an HOA unless you’ve got a Trump-sized bank account backing you. And we don’t.
And now they’re threatening us with fines if we don’t paint – $10 to $500 a day. Paint up or pay up, that’s the choice. Isn’t that what you do with hookers? You pay them for their services, right? Except with hookers, gross as they might be in real life, you’re supposed to get a, um, “happy ending,” right? With this, we just get more bland tan paint. We already have that.