Known Johnson

November 16, 2007

Biscuits and Mook-Mook

Filed under: General — Tom @ 1:01 pm

Do you ever crave biscuits, too?

I do it every time. Every single time. On the way home from work, I look at my gas gauge and think, “Man, I need gas.” But I don’t feel like stopping – I just want to get home. Why make my drive even longer if I don’t have to, right? So I say to myself, “Self, remind yourself to leave a bit early to get gas tomorrow.” And then I don’t. I wake up, take my usual time getting going or, in the case of today, take a really long time and leave late, and then pull out of the garage with a glance at the gauge that elicits a loud “DAMMIT!” as I look at the clock and realize how I am already running late. Will I ever learn? Have I yet? The answer to both questions is most likely the same: no.

It will never cease to amaze me how a car parked on the side of the freeway manages to slow down the entire system. One car. No accident. Just a car, doing nothing, and everyone slows to look. There must be an instinctive reason for this, something bred into us long ago, maybe for events like, say, when Mook-Mook got stuck up in the tree chasing a delicious squirrel and all the other tribemembers stood around watching him dangle from a branch up there. There was a lesson to be learned there – don’t do what Mook-Mook did. There’s no lesson to be learned here, folks. Just a dude on the side of the road, maybe waiting for a tow truck or something. Mook-Mook might die from what he did. You might die because you’re paying attention to dude-on-the-side-of-the-road rather than the road itself.

Had to stop reading Brian Eno’s diary of 1995, A Year With Swollen Apendices. I got up to mid-August and just had enough of “met Bono’s grandfather, nice guy.” When he’s talking about making music, it’s fascinating, but, like most diaries, the details everyday life are just not all that interesting without more context, and his unending, constantly recurring talk about Bosnia gets really old. I knew something was up when I was struggling to make it through single pages. When I get into reading something, I can devour it, but the exact opposite was happening here – it was like that food you just don’t want to eat anymore, but force into your mouth anyway. Chew chew chew, but no swallowing. And, again, I am simply stunned at the going price for used copies. $46?! I wish mine was in better shape, I think I could part with it pretty easily now.

Instead, I moved on to David Sedaris’ Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim (available used for a mere 8 cents!), a book I began a couple years ago in a major Sedaris craze I was in at the time. For some reason, I found this book depressing, or maybe it was Naked ($1.91 used!), which I’d read just before it, that was depressing and the aftereffects washed over onto this one. Whatever the case, I read about as much of this in one sitting as I did in one week of Eno’s diary. And it’s nowhere near as down as I remembered it, so I’m going to say that I’d just had too much Sedaris at once. His stories may be very funny, but they’re often bittersweet, and, yes, sometimes depressing, too. He’s an incredible storyteller.

One week until “black Friday.” Be prepared by checking out tons of ads ahead of time. I see nothing that warrants freaking out about. Just like pretty much every year.

Still with the biscuits.



  1. What kind of biscuit?

    Comment by bekah — November 16, 2007 @ 7:40 pm | Reply

  2. What kind of biscuit, she asks. Buttermilk, of course! The only true kind of biscuit. The rest are impostors. Tasty, but impostors nonetheless.

    Comment by Tom — November 16, 2007 @ 11:42 pm | Reply

  3. Do you do Pillsbury buttermilk biscuits or are the crazy kind of person who makes ’em from scratch?

    Comment by bekah — November 17, 2007 @ 4:47 pm | Reply

  4. Oh, God no. I’m far too lazy for that. I’m only in it for the eating. Whatever way gets me to the eating fastest wins.

    Comment by Tom — November 17, 2007 @ 11:36 pm | Reply

  5. Yum, I crave biscuits sometimes, especially when the weather turns cooler. Speaking of which, perhaps I’ll head to the kitchen…

    Comment by Jenn — November 19, 2007 @ 10:25 am | Reply

  6. I’m going to admit something here that probably should never see the light of day: I like biscuits smothered in applesauce.

    More specifically, I like buttered biscuits smothered in warm applesauce that’s been heavily spiced with cinnamon and brown sugar. The taste is roughly equivalent to apple pie or apple cobbler. In a pinch, peaches will work as a substitute for applesauce.

    …are there others like me, or should I hang my head in shame now?

    Comment by Uncle Midriff — November 19, 2007 @ 2:03 pm | Reply

  7. At first that made me grimace, but now that I think about it, how different can that be than apple muffins, right? Other than the texture, that is. So I’ll let you off.

    I’m kind of amazed that biscuits has generated this much commentary. It must be the time of year or something . . .

    Comment by Tom — November 19, 2007 @ 6:45 pm | Reply

  8. i had a biscuit for breakfast this morning.

    the homemade kind.

    Comment by Mark Saleski — November 21, 2007 @ 8:26 am | Reply

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