The pizza delivery guy came, and I could tell he was distracted as he removed the pizza from the insulated carrier. He kept glancing up, around me . . . I felt a little weird, because I knew what he was looking at. “Is that your music collection?” he finally asked. Yes, yes it is – I have to keep it up here in the front of the house because it’s really the only place to keep it. I felt great relief when he revealed he was one of us – a music freak – and had a big collection of CDs and vinyl at home, too, but I could tell he was kind of in awe at the sheer number of spines that were facing out at him. And, frankly, it’s a little scary to me, too. It’s sitting right here where it could so easily be taken, conveniently stored in cases that can be carted off in one piece with every disc in them – I built them that way, after all, to make it easier for me to do that very thing. It just didn’t occur to me while making them that someone with less-than-saintly intentions could do the same.
We talked for a couple of minutes about music and then I paid him, let him keep the change, which might have seemed a bit too much, but having been a delivery driver myself, I will never, ever shortchange a tip these guys unless they majorly screw up. Like, “eat the pizza themselves” screw up. It’s just a thankless job, delivering. It sucked. You smell of the food your carry, your car always smells of the food you carry, you drive around neighborhoods that twist and turn and dead end like some sort of sadistic game, and you often got cheated out of the tip on the deliveries that were the most painful. Put it into perspective: if you can afford to have food delivered, you can afford about 30% for the driver. Think of what he has to put into it – gas, oil, sanity.
And I especially can’t justify shorting a guy on a tip when I was waiting for UPS to drop off the $40 remaster/boxset* of a CD I already own. Gotta put things into perspective.
*Which arrived at nearly 8 pm. UPS dude had a long day. Man. And he doesn’t even get tips!