Known Johnson

December 3, 2007

30% more beef

Filed under: General — Tom @ 9:13 am

I am convinced that the mere suggestion of an accident ahead on the freeway will cause traffic to snarl. How many times have you seen the phenomenon – the freeway alert system says there’s an accident at some particular location and when you get there, there’s no accident, nor even any signs of an accident? That happened today. Traffic was backed up for basically my entire drive, making it nearly twice its normal length – what a way to start a week, huh? Twenty feet forward, stop. Thirty feet forward . . . stop. All the way to work. What could possibly be the hold up? The frustration registered on the faces and actions of drivers around me. If they hadn’t resigned to simply leaning on their doors and steering wheels like I did, they darted from lane to lane in a futile attempt to get ahead.

When we got to the spot where there was supposed to be an accident, there was nothing to be found. And yet everyone slowed, and I think it’s because everyone was looking to find the missing accident. Everyone else wants an answer, too.

I have two routes I can take to work in the morning. Now I remember why I have been taking the other one instead of this one, which I started taking since moving to a new building at work. Not only is this one accident prone, it’s also ugly and smelly. If it doesn’t smell a backed up toilet, it smells like a multitude of very unhealthy chemicals. This route passes through Phoenix’s colon, apparently, and it seems to be badly in need of some fiber. I will go back to taking the healthier route from now on. No more 85 minute drives.



  1. […] drive was so long and arduous this morning that I heard all of Apple Venus and had to choose something else, so I opted for one […]

    Pingback by lookout for hope | You’re not obliged to swallow anything you despise » Blog Archive » Two for one — December 3, 2007 @ 9:39 am | Reply

  2. Good thing I don’t have to worry about the freeway alert system slowing down my commute – I live in a town that doesn’t give a flying pig about accidents or incidents so we’ll just keep peddling on our merry way until we have to slam on our breaks.

    Comment by bekah — December 3, 2007 @ 11:32 am | Reply

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