Known Johnson

January 4, 2009

Great expectorations

Filed under: Annoyances — Tom @ 8:09 pm

The great disease infiltration of ’09 continues pretty much unabated. Whereas earlier in the week I was downing dose after dose of a cough medicine designed to put a damper on the activity, I’m now taking something to do the exact opposite, which, as it turns out, is a pretty painful proposition. It also makes sleeping interesting, as midway through the night I awoke feeling as if something was sitting on the right side of my chest. A mildly deep breath resulted in spasms of coughing. Not good. Also of note was last night’s weekly garbage ritual, made exciting by the fact that I couldn’t really take much of a breath, and by the time I was done, I was gasping for air and sweating. Just from taking out the garbage. Part of me remembers a time back in high school when I had pneumonia and thinks “This seems awful familiar!” but I’m not sure it’s quite that severe. That said, I can’t seem to go anywhere – one trip out yesterday, the first in a couple of days, grew extremely uncomfortable.

And that was two days ago. I stopped writing for almost two days. Let me tell you, this cold, bug, germ, death, whatever it is, is nasty. I can’t think of the last time I had something that just laid me out like this besides an out-right flu, and I am pretty sure it’s not the flu, because that’s even worse than this. But this has been really bad for about 5 days, and just plain bad for a week. It was never “simple cold” level “okay,” which is sometimes okay because you can keep functioning with a simple cold. Not this. I was down and out. On the sofa doing nothing for days. For example, yesterday I watched seemingly hundreds of videos on VH-1 Classic’s “2009 For 2009” video countdown. Videos I probably wouldn’t ever watch otherwise. Because what else am I going to do? I watched a hilariously Tim & Eric-like commercial for FinallyFast.com (a company that promises to speed up your computer – uh-huh), the hoveround or some similarly entertaining mode of transportation for the elderly, and most frightening/humorous of all, bizarre commercials with “83 year old Tony Curtis,” who has apparently turned into a very old, bald cross-dresser. Not to be mean or anything – I know he’s old, but this commercial is beyond simply odd – it’s weird, creepy, and disturbing. And I saw it a LOT this week.

It was either that or Destroyed In Seconds on Discovery – a decidedly LOW-quality, un-Discovery-like show that has me fearing what direction they’re heading now. Just when things were stabilizing with a bunch of shows that were attempting to, badly, mimic the entertainment value of Mythbusters and Dirty Jobs, not to mention the “mind on cruise control” power of the new genre spawned by How It’s Made, they’ve managed to lower the bar. There was a moment there when, after watching a bit of Destroyed In Seconds, Amanda kept chanting, “I want to watch crashes!” where I can see how people turn into bad parents and let their kids get their way. It’s cute, if only for a bit, to see them say stuff like this, but you have to step aside and look at it from another perspective to realize this stuff ain’t for 3 year olds. Cute, and America’s Funniest Home Videos, as it may be ready to hear her chant for destruction, I just couldn’t do it. VH-1 Classic it was. All day long. After all, these were all the videos I grew up watching. And I turned out okay, right? Right?

And then this morning I woke up and everything seemed different somehow. I still had a bit of a sore throat, still felt the pain of congestion in my lungs and possessed that deep baritone voice of the very sick, but I felt better. The whole day’s been better. Amanda’s on her way, I think she’s a day or two behind me, so we still have a few days of “MY NOSE IS RUNNING!” and explosive coughing in the middle of the night, but the end is nigh.

The interesting thing that I noticed is that, while sick, I had no interest in being on the computer. As evidenced above, I began one paragraph and abandoned it, and that illustrated my computer exposure much of the week besides what little time I spent at work. Today, after a few hours on the computer this morning, I came away from the experience wishing I’d simply taken it easy, resting, reading, watching TV, doing anything but sitting behind this stupid box. Is it getting older? Or am I losing interest in all of this? I don’t know. If I believed in resolutions, one I’d make is to simply not spend so much time on this thing. As it is, I’ll simply say that I hope maybe I’ll keep in mind how I felt this morning after days away from the computer. And now I’m going to go take that advice. I’ve got pasta boiling, sauce cooking, some chicken awaiting cheese and sauce, and fresh, home-made bread baking. That beats the computer any night.

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1 Comment »

  1. […] Great expectorations Jan […]

    Pingback by Yo yo — January 5, 2009 @ 9:29 am | Reply


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